the best they could do | a small idea from Raising Adults

The best they could do

I’ve come to believe we got here more or less by accident. This is not a theological declaration; I just don’t think anybody set out to screw up. I don’t think my parents or grandparents were particularly bad people. Broken, sure. But not bad. My mother grew up in a family of displaced farm people. My grandfather left his job as a traveling sales agent to work the land my grandmother came to own when she was widowed. They lost the farm. Then, when they moved to depression-era Jacksonville, Florida, they simply lost their way. I know my grandfather worked hard but he never found a path back to where he knew which way was up. They were off balance and they never recovered, financially or otherwise.

My grandmother was frustrated to death by the whole thing. Literally. She died too young. Afraid, angry, disappointed; she lost heart.

My father’s parents died before he was two years old and his older sisters and brothers raised him.

They did the best they could. Honestly, in what perfect world of yesterday did my folks learn parenting? Why would my father know the first thing about being a good father? At whose knee could my mother have learned the nurturing arts?

….

My parents were ordinary folk: broken, needy, imperfect...human. Could they have tried harder? I have no idea. They gave it their best shot. My sister turned out well. The jury is still out in my case.

I can’t find the bad guys in my family. The inept, unskilled, foolish, shattered guys, yes—in abundance. That’s what I am. I suspect it’s what you are, too, (though you’ll have to vote for yourself).

Eugene O’Neill wrote somewhere,* “Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.” That the starting point for Raising Adults.

— from Raising Adults

* Eugene O’Neill, The Great God Brown, 1926, Act Four, Scene One

us + them | Emo Philips

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't
do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do
you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said,
"A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He
said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said,
"Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern
Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too!

Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too!

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern
Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern
Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of
1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region
Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist
Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And
I pushed him over.

— Emo Philips, The Guardian 29 September, 2005

speechless

Warren Buffet's call for tax reform

Congress is voting on tax reform tomorrow, November 9, 2007. 

Today and tomorrow would be a good window to email your Member of Congress to say that  his or her future in government might ride more on this vote than on how much money lobbyists pour into increasing the wealth of the already wealthy (at the expense of everyone else).

Warren Buffet — one of the richest men alive — surveyed his office and found that he pays a lower tax rate than anyone in the company, including his receptionist. He doesn't think that's fair. Neither do I.

the business of war | free enterprise at its worst

What the hell is wrong with us? Seriously.

broken by design | Seth Godin

Seth Godin counted seven kind of broken — ranging from irritating to downright dangerous.

In no particular order, an experience, artifact or thing may be broken because:

It's not my job to fix it
It was designed by selfish jerks
The world changed
I didn't know
I'm not a fish
There are significant contradictions
Some things are broken on purpose

What's broken where you work? If it wasn't broken on purpose, whose job is it to fix it?