Waking Up White in America | a 3Practice Circle

June 12, 2020 . A Circle of people, most of whom don’t know each other, gathered in a 3Practice Zoom Circle for a remarkable exchange on the question:

"Are there unearned privileges that come with waking up white in America?"

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About 3Practice Circles

The purpose of 3Practice Circles is to help us get clarity and, maybe, understanding about our ideological opponents. We use the 3Practices to explore the difference divide between us and our ideological opponents. The 3Practices
1. I’ll be unusually interested in others — this is about genuine curiosity 2. I’ll stay in the room with difference — this is a pledge to get in the room and do our best to stay in the room, even if we’re triggered 3. I’ll stop comparing my best with your worst — this is about replacing pretentious certainty with honest exploration A 3Practice Circle is not a discussion, debate, or dialog group … it’s a workout designed to prepare us for real-life encounters at home, school and work. Practicing the 3Practices exercises and strengthens emotional muscles that are underdeveloped or atrophied. We don’t often change anybody's mind in a 3Practice Circle. But we frequently influence people whose minds aren't already made up by giving them a chance to hear why we disagree. From there — with greater clarity and understanding — they can decide for themselves. The Rules  
Anyone can take up two minutes to share their opinion on the Framing Question — without interruption or dispute. Then, anyone in the Circle can take 20 seconds to ask a clarifying question that begins with the phrase “I’d be curious to know…” The person who started the round may take up to one minute responding to each clarifying question. The questioner may ask one followup question — beginning with "I’d be curious to know…" The 3Practice Circle Referee focuses the process on time, on topic, and civil. Each 3Practice Circle ends with Thank-yous to others who have been clear, open, generous, though-provoking, courageous, or otherwise 3Practicey.

Now You Go | Unearned Privilege + Just Responsibility

As the week ends, I want to say that I’m moved by what people posted the first few days at Now You Go.

They … we … are trying to acknowledge the unearned privilege and just responsibilities that come with waking up white in America.

Maybe you know one of these folks.
Maybe you’d like to read their words or watch their video and say Thanks for speaking up.
Maybe you’d like to add your voice too.

George Baum
Jeff Behan
Noel Becchetti
Joe Boris
Brent Bromstrup
Steve Case
Dave Curtiss
Mike Deal
Lanny Donoho
Jim Henderson

Jonathan Hobbs

Eric Kelly
David Libby
Charlie Lowell
David Lynn
Brock Morgan
Jeff Nagel
Jonny Radcliff
Dave Rahn
Martin Saunders
Robert Shipley
Dave Showalter
Dick Staub
Ted Swartz
Paul Turner

OKNowYouGo

This is My Confession | @OKNowYouGo

This week, I joined friends and friends of friends trying to acknowledge our unearned privilege and just responsibilities as people who wake up white in America every day.

https://www.facebook.com/OKNOWYOUGO/

I add my confession — first offered at a gathering convened by Michelle Lang-Raymond as "A Chat w/ White Folks" two days after the murder of George Floyd [https://youtu.be/qylb2dEsuIA] — to confessions and laments offered by people from all over.

OK, Now You Go.

Watch It Yourself | Joe Biden Responds to 100K US COVID-19 Deaths

About Biden's response, the Conservative writer Jennifer Rubin said: 

It just so happens that the politician arguably the least like Trump — that is, conscientious, kind, empathetic, respectful, inclusive, loyal, teachable — is his opponent. One need look no further than Joe Biden’s video consoling those who lost loved ones in the pandemic. 

That is a mensch. That is a person who will at least try to earn our admiration and trust — and who does not believe he is the greatest victim of them all.

why are you surprised?

[Brought up from the vault — May 04, 2020 — in the final months of president 47’s first administration when he seemed pretty whiney that people didn’t take his every word at face value. In the history, poetry, novelist, and playwright trades, some practioners might use a word like *foreshadowing* to describe how what happened in those years relates to what’s happening in these years.]

Seriously: Why are you surprised? 

Didn’t you set the rules of engagement?

When you set the dial to
historic
unprecedented
like nobody's ever seen
biggest
greatest
perfect
best
...
but then deliver less[?]

Why are you surprised
that people want an explanation?


When you double down
dehumanize questioners
with insults and juvenile namecalling
when you
kill the messenger
change the subject
play the victim
...
Why are you surprised
when the questions
pull focus to
your honesty
your integrity
your wit and wisdom
your essential grip on reality?

Why, honestly, having set the rules of engagement, are you surprised by any of this?

Frenemies: A 3Practice Circle Do-Over

Late last week, we led a 3Practice Zoom Circle on the Framing Question: 

You Try Being President! Is it time to give Donald Trump a break?"

That’s a pretty emotional question. 

It's not unusual for ideological opponents to check in with each other after a 3Practice Circle to make sure the other person understood their intent. At Face-to-Face Circles, that check-in often happens in the room, immediately following the Circle. 

But what happens when one person is on the West Coast of the US and the other is in Australia. That's the situation Benjamin Ady found himself in after last Friday’s Circle. So, Benjamin picked up the phone and called Rob Smith to admit that maybe he didn’t follow through on Practice 3: I’ll stop comparing my best with your worst. 

Later, they got on a call with Jim Henderson to talk about what they learned in the conversation.

More at 3Practices.com

When all this will end… The Phoenix | 10th Man

Whether it be disaster or recovery, so very often it is the artists who invite us think ahead.

Political Correctness, Apu, and the Golden Rule

from a photo by John Biehler

Hank Azaria talked with the New York Times about why he decided to stop voicing The Simpsons South Asian character, Apu.

“A key turning point, Azaria said, was realizing that while he may not be offended by a prominent character that mocked white Jewish men like himself, ‘[If] that character were the only representation of Jewish people in American culture for 20 years, which is the case with Apu, I might not love that.’”

That realization does seem like a turning point. 

These days, all the people I know who regularly complain about political correctness are a) White people who identify as Evangelical Christians, and b) deeply offended by common stereotypes of White American Evangelicals. (I’m not saying White Evangelicals are the only ones who complain about political correctness ... just that that’s who I hear complaining.)

Of all the people I think should be able to put two and two together on the question of mistaking situational awareness and kindness for political correctness, the most obvious to me are those claiming to have a personal relationship with Jesus, who famously said:

“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets. — Matthew 7.12 New American Standard Bible

I don’t find a lot of wiggle room in this Golden Rule that seems to me like a pretty good example of plainspeak.

These days, on the whole, my American Jewish friends seem to be closer to Jesus on this than many of my American Evangelical Christian friends.

To be clear, I do not claim a large number of American Jewish friends — only that the people I know who identify as both American and Jewish behave as if this ethic were indeed the Law and the Prophets. Whether or not they would say, in so many words, that they agree with Jesus on this point, I bear witness to what looks to me like excellent behavior in this regard.

On the other hand, I have had, and have, a multitude of friends who think of themselves as Evangelicals — they are the tribe who raised me. And it is my testimony today that many of them seem less than enamored with - if not at odds with - the Jesus whose words make up all but the last sentence of chapter seven in Matthew’s Gospel.

If Matthew is to be taken as a serious source, and if Jesus is to be believed, I think people who hate being stereotyped, disrespected, and mischaracterized for being White American Evangelicals should not be the last to identify the cultural doctrine against political correctness as an excuse for rudeness, exclusion, and lovelessness … they should be the first.

But they’re not. I don’t mean everyone who thinks of himself as an American Evangelical; I just mean the ones who mock other people for being snowflakes when they are awfully sensitive themselves — sensitive to the point of entitlement … sensitive to the point of looking silly — and then acting hurt and angry when people laugh at them. 

I don’t imagine any of the people I’m thinking about would, in so many words, disagree with Jesus about the Golden Rule. But if, as Jesus says a few sentences earlier, we are meant to recognize trees by the fruit they bear, it would appear that what some folks want is to be treated with contempt, because that’s certainly how they treat others.

Nothing to see here post impeachment trial

In the two weeks following the impeachment trial, the President:

• Intervened in the sentencing of an accomplice convicted on multiple counts

• Called for a wholesale prosecution of his “enemies”

• Punished government employees who lawfully testified in or leading to impeachment hearings

• Fired the Director of National Intelligence for permitting a proper intelligence briefing to Congress

So … this is going well…. 

Red Dawn | the 2020 presidential election

2020 is turning out to be the Red Dawn presidential election — US intelligence agencies spotted Russians landing on US soil and, now, the President has apparently responded by firing the Director of National Intelligence for briefing Congress on the landing.

You know Patrick Swayze — or Chris Hemsworth, if that’s your bent — and the Wolverines would not take this lying down ... nor should any American.

one way to respond to impeachment acquittal

Transcript of President Clinton's Rose Garden Statement after acquittal by the Senate on two counts of impeachment, February 12, 1999, Courtesy of C-Span

President Clinton enters the Rose Garden.

The President: Now that the Senate has fulfilled its constitutional responsibility bringing this process to a conclusion, I want to say again to the American people how profoundly sorry I am for what I said and did to trigger these events and the great burden they have imposed on the Congress and on the American people.

I also am humbled and very grateful for the support and the prayers I have received from millions of Americans over this past year.

Now I ask all Americans, and I hope all Americans here in Washington and throughout our land, will rededicate ourselves to the work of serving our nation and building our future together. This can be and this must be a time of reconciliation and renewal for America. Thank you very much.

As the President leaves the podium, a reporter calls out: In your heart, sir, can you forgive and forget?

The President returns to the podium: I believe any person who asks for forgiveness has to be prepared to give it.

The President exits.

Kind words on Crossing the Difference

Kind words about 3Practices for Crossing the Difference Divide from my longtime Solana Beach, California friend, Mike Deal. Thanks Mike!

So enjoying this awesome little book. It’s not about winning, it’s not about being “right”, it’s not about changing opinions, it may not even be about finding common ground. In fact it might be about finding uncommon ground. 

I don’t know how it ends, but it’s got my feet to the fire.

There's lots more about the 3Practices at 3Practices.com. Browse around, see what you think.