A New Survey on Teen Pregnancy circa 2012

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has released a new survey of adult and teen attitudes about sex, abstinence contraception, parental influence, sex education, birth control, and teen pregnancy. 

Key findings include:

• Teens make clear that parents matter more than many probably think (teens say parents most influence their decisions about sex);
• there is great agreement among adults about the importance of teaching teens about the value of delaying sex and the importance of using contraception (more than seven in 10 support this approach);

Not a Minute Too Soon | The Volunteer's Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis

We're all back to school now, or will be in about a minute, and it's none too soon to introduce your volunteer team to The Volunteer's Guide 

to Helping Teenagers in Crisis.

Back in the day, Rich Van Pelt got the ball rolling with his seminal youth worker training book, Intensive 

Care: Helping Teenagers in Crisis — a few copies of which are available today at Amazon.com at prices ranging from a couple of bucks to a very impressive $588.98 (way to go, Rich!).

In the middle of the last decade, Rich and I threw in together to produce The Youth Worker's Guide to 

Helping Teenagers in Crisis, and then The Parent's Guide to 

Helping Teenagers in Crisis — which covers the same ground as the Youth Worker's Guide through the filter of what a parent needs to know (e.g. a mom doesn't need her own referral list, she needs to know that her friendly youth worker has one and she need to know how to ask for help when she needs it).

Now, we've completed The Volunteer's Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis because, much like parents, volunteers need to know how to spot trouble and get help quickly, effectively and with as little drama as possible.

The Volunteer's Guide works with four DVD sessions that blend crisis stories told by real people with short teaching segments by Rich and me (mostly five minutes or less). The other learning ingredients mix personal reflection and recollection with group conversation about the kids and families your team serves, wherever you're located — be that small town, suburb, or urban center.

Session 01: Understanding Crisis     Session 02: Spotting Crisis

Session 03: Responding to Crisis     Session 04: Preventing Crisis

If you lead a team of volunteer youth workers, nobody has to tell you they're often the first to see signs of trouble in adolescents. And nobody has to remind you most of them have no idea what to do about crisis when they see it. The Volunteer's Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis is your tool kit to build volunteers who know when what they're seeing is a crisis and know how to get kids the help they need in a timely and compassionate manner.

A Picture of School Gun Violence in the U.S. | Who's Shooting + Why

The picture of gun violence among American adolescents is  sobering the morning after a murderous event like the one in Ohio yesterday. The details of that story are yet to be unraveled, so there’s little to be said today about what led to that tragic incident.

Today, we can look at the bigger picture. In 2002, the U. S. Secret Service and the U.S. Department of Education issued the final report of an exhaustive study of school shootings from 1974 - 2000. [1] Here's a summary of some of their findings: 

• Targeted school violence is rarely as sudden and impulsive as it appears.  

— About half of attackers develop the idea for at least a month.

— Most prepare their attack for at least two days.

• Few attackers are loners or losers. 

— Most appear to be mainstream kids. 

— Most live in two-parent homes. 

— Most are doing reasonably well in school. 

— Few have been in serious trouble at school. 

— Few have histories of violence toward others or cruelty to animals. 

— Many are involved in organized social groups in or out of school. 

— Nearly all act alone, but most have close friends.

free is good | $3.99 is almost free

Yesterday, nearly a thousand people in the U.S., Great Britain, Spain, Italy and France went to Amazon for a free download of Ten Things We Should Never Say to Kids.

Thanks to my friends who spread the word to their friends. We'll do it again soon.

Meanwhile, Ten Things We Should Never Say to Kids is available at the almost free price of $3.99 U.S.

So, help yourself (and maybe gift a copy for a friend).

Unlinked | Will American Millennials Reboot Marriage and Parenting?

This week, the Pew Research Center reported on the attitudes of 18-29 year-old Americans toward parenting and marriage. In a nutshell, the study found that being good parents is more important to a majority of these Americans than having a successful marriage. You can read the report for yourself.

Not in the report is what I thought I caught … whispered between the lines … floating on the wind... 

I wrote it down as I heard it, but maybe it was only in my mind….

Old Youth Workers Never Die | Finding Your Way in a New Place

I took a new youth pastorate [and] I am excited, sad, and nervous all in one! Every blog I read has a pretty jaded stance on leaving churches, going to new churches etc. Do you have any advice for me?

Hey John; nice to hear from you. Congratulations on your new position. 

And condolences… I certainly know the grief of leaving behind a church in which I was nurtured and a group of kids I loved. I think it takes time to process that and learn everything it means. 

Off the top of my head...

If there’s already a going youth ministry concern at your new location, there will be assumptions and expectations about roles and programs. Find out what those are and evaluate how to honor those who came before you even as you look for ways to improve on their work. If there’s something you believe needs to go away, think about whether you can, 1) just let it die by leaving it off the calendar going forward or 2) devise something better to replace it. 

Listen as deeply as you can to find out what’s important to people. Don’t pick unnecessary fights. Where you believe change is necessary, act like a shepherd rather than a cowboy (sheep are led, cows are driven).

If there’s not much going on already, introduce new things with care. You’re new culture may or may not embrace things that killed where you were before. I would recommend thinking less about building and more about growing.

Old Youth Workers Never Die | Facebook

A Facebook exchange with a youth worker friend on the subject of Facebook

Hey there! I was wanting your thoughts on something, especially since you seem so connected to many youth pastors. I have heard a lot in the news lately about the problems coming up with teachers being "friends" with their students on facebook. Some schools are making it school policy that it is not allowed. We try to be so smart about appropriate behavior with students and often use teacher standards as a guideline.

Do you think it is appropriate for youth pastors to be "friends" with their students? Should they create a youth group page and strictly communicate through that one? Or are both too risky and should youth pastors stay away from it altogether?

I hope you are doing well Jim :) Tell that lovely wife of yours hello for me.

Hey Meg! I certainly think a group page is appropriate and I have no problem with youth workers friending students as long as they're clear what that means, including clear boundaries.

IMHO FB is no more dangerous than phones, text messages, email or letter-writing — and may be a good deal less dangerous if updates are kept in the open. I think exceptions may be made when an appropriate level of confidentiality is required to respond to sensitive questions. At which point I think additional safeguards and accountability should come into play between youth workers, spouses and bosses and that those standards and practices should be common knowledge throughout the community.

That's a quick answer. Does it make sense?

No Child Left Behind | Pink Floyd v. BeeGees mashup | Stayin' Alive In The Wall

(h/t Dave Palmer)

Youth Groups, Books + Reaching for Happiness

Is this how kids understand the utility of your youth group?*


If not, why not?
If so, are you good with that? Is it on purpose? Do you feed it?
Where (if at all) do you see connections between this video and the narrative in John 6:1-71?

* Of course, you can switch out "kids" for "people" and "youth group" for "church" or whatever you call it.

Monologue | One More Call

Here's another free script from the Sketches: Mainly on Sex collection for my youth worker and drama friends. 

The piece is titled One More Call and it's a somber monologue from a school administrator about what happens when kids don't look out for each other.

I hope One More Call strikes a chord with you. If so, tell your youth worker and drama-geek friends where to find it, with my compliments. 

The text is below. If you like it, download the free script for One More Call, with discussion questions. 

Enjoy! And let me know what you think.

Mr. Potter

 This is not why I got into education, OK? If I have to call in one more child sex abuse case...

Which is a joke. I’ll make that call before the month is out.

Did you know that 70% of teenage pregnancies are fathered by men over 20? 70%. It’s ridiculous.

Some guy comes along with a car and a part time job and he’s not all pimply and awkward so, what — he makes a girl feel like a woman? And of course he wants her to act like a woman, right? No way! He wants her to act like a girl. He wants her to do whatever he says. He wants oral sex and vaginal sex and whatever kind of sex he can get and he’ll be tender or demanding or whatever it takes to get what he wants. Oh, and he wants to keep it a secret from her parents. Real mature.

Speaking of oral sex, if I have to tell one more parent I just pulled her seventh grade girl off some boy behind the gym...

Monologue | Coming Clean

As proprietor of The Tiny Company Called Me it's my responsibility to set delivery dates and prices for my work. I always try to find a win/win schedule and price and, in that spirit, I'm happy to deliver the script for a monologue about sexual responsibility immediately and for free. 


The piece is called Coming Clean and it's in the voice of a youth worker who talks about his own sense of responsibility around sexuality.


If you're a youth worker or some kind of drama geek, I hope the timing and price—to say nothing of the quality of the piece—will strike you as a clear win. If you're not, I'll hope you'll find it an entertaining read. 


It will seem like a win from my side of the transaction if you tell a few youth workers and drama geeks where to find Coming Clean and if they download it and use it to engage kids in a conversation about telling the truth and living together responsibly.


So, read Coming Clean here and then download it free, complete with discussion questions—normally that costs two bucks.


Enjoy! And let me know if you if you like it (or hate it).

WARREN

I want to come clean with you about something tonight. OK? Is that alright with you?

Standing before you is living, breathing, proof that it is possible to grow up in this culture without falling into alcohol and sex — please, hold your applause till the end.

You may find this hard to believe, but I’ve never been drunk. People talk as if that’s inevitable — something they might as well do so they can check it off the list. Well I’m here to tell you it’s not.

And the only person I’ve had sex with is Sarah, my lovely wife. Stand up, honey; let the people greet you. Sure, you can clap for my bride. Isn’t she beautiful? Yeh.

Sex is another experience about which some people say, “Well, I may as well just get it over it over with.” Isn’t that romantic? Trust me: sex is worth the wait...Every time. (Rim shot sound effect) Thank you, thank you very much — I’m here every weekend.

Monologue | Mango Sex

One of the nice things about being The Tiny Company Called Me is I get to make decisions I once upon a time had to negotiate with others when I was part of someone else's overhead. Of course this is also one of the challenges in being The Tiny Company Called Me, but that's another story.

Today I've decided to give away some stuff to my youth worker friends...at least the ones who use comedy, drama, and other kinds of storytelling to engage the people they're trying to help into adulthood.

First up, Mango Sex, a monologue about sexual responsibility. Normally, it costs two bucks, but you can download it free, complete with discussion questions.

If you're not a youth worker or storyteller, you might enjoy this piece anyway. It's mildly humorous and, who knows? maybe you know someone who would like it.

Jules, it should be noted, is a 15 year-old sophomore. Pity the fool who tries to date this girl.

JULES

OK, I don’t wanna get struck by lightning or anything but look: Do you seriously want me to believe God would make something as cool as sex and then tell people to stay away from it? I mean, really?

Because I find that hard to believe. I think that’s like God saying, “Don’t look at the mountains, don’t go in the ocean, don’t eat the apples.”

Oh, wait, I guess that’s the argument isn’t it; That whole apple thing. I don’t know where that comes from. Someone with an inappropriate love for apples I guess.

If I wrote it, it would be “don’t eat the mangoes.” You ever have a fresh ripe mango? I gotta tell you: if sex is better than that, don’t count on seeing much of me once I get started. I mean, please: mango sex? I don’t see why God wouldn’t want that for everyone.