"yes means yes" | California's new targeted consent for sex law

You can read the text of the 1700 word Student Safety: Sexual Assault law right here.

The law requires California post-secondary schools:

• to adopt policies concerning sexual assault, domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking that include certain elements, including an affirmative consent standard in the determination of whether consent was given by a complainant.

• to the extent feasible, to enter into memoranda of understanding or other agreements or collaborative partnerships with on-campus and community-based organizations to refer students for assistance or make services available to students.

• to implement comprehensive prevention and outreach programs addressing sexual assault, domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking.

Key definitions:

• “Affirmative consent” means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. It is the responsibility of each person involved in the sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the affirmative consent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity. Lack of protest or resistance does not mean consent, nor does silence mean consent. Affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time. The existence of a dating relationship between the persons involved, or the fact of past sexual relations between them, should never by itself be assumed to be an indicator of consent.

• ...it shall not be a valid excuse that the accused believed that the complainant affirmatively consented to the sexual activity if the accused knew or reasonably should have known that the complainant was unable to consent to the sexual activity under any of the following circumstances:

(A) The complainant was asleep or unconscious.

(B) The complainant was incapacitated due to the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medication, so that the complainant could not understand the fact, nature, or extent of the sexual activity. 

(C) The complainant was unable to communicate due to a mental or physical condition.

At first glance these standards appear to be consistent with existing laws governing sexual assault. So, California's play here ties state funding, down to the level of financial aid to students in private colleges, to the adoption and implementation of campus policies regarding informed consent for sexual contact and consistent standards of information about consent, prevention of nonconsensual sexual contact,  and when necessary, aftercare for victims of sexual assault.

I see nothing here that can't or shouldn't be the subject ongoing education for teenagers and children in families, community organizations and faith-centered youth groups.

A New Survey on Teen Pregnancy circa 2012

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has released a new survey of adult and teen attitudes about sex, abstinence contraception, parental influence, sex education, birth control, and teen pregnancy. 

Key findings include:

• Teens make clear that parents matter more than many probably think (teens say parents most influence their decisions about sex);
• there is great agreement among adults about the importance of teaching teens about the value of delaying sex and the importance of using contraception (more than seven in 10 support this approach);

Not Ever

Rape Crisis Scotland takes on the victim-blaming ethos that excuses sexual assault.

See also the comment in the British medical journal The Lancet titled: Key to prevent HIV in women: reduce gender-based violence.

Monologue | One More Call

Here's another free script from the Sketches: Mainly on Sex collection for my youth worker and drama friends. 

The piece is titled One More Call and it's a somber monologue from a school administrator about what happens when kids don't look out for each other.

I hope One More Call strikes a chord with you. If so, tell your youth worker and drama-geek friends where to find it, with my compliments. 

The text is below. If you like it, download the free script for One More Call, with discussion questions. 

Enjoy! And let me know what you think.

Mr. Potter

 This is not why I got into education, OK? If I have to call in one more child sex abuse case...

Which is a joke. I’ll make that call before the month is out.

Did you know that 70% of teenage pregnancies are fathered by men over 20? 70%. It’s ridiculous.

Some guy comes along with a car and a part time job and he’s not all pimply and awkward so, what — he makes a girl feel like a woman? And of course he wants her to act like a woman, right? No way! He wants her to act like a girl. He wants her to do whatever he says. He wants oral sex and vaginal sex and whatever kind of sex he can get and he’ll be tender or demanding or whatever it takes to get what he wants. Oh, and he wants to keep it a secret from her parents. Real mature.

Speaking of oral sex, if I have to tell one more parent I just pulled her seventh grade girl off some boy behind the gym...

Monologue | Coming Clean

As proprietor of The Tiny Company Called Me it's my responsibility to set delivery dates and prices for my work. I always try to find a win/win schedule and price and, in that spirit, I'm happy to deliver the script for a monologue about sexual responsibility immediately and for free. 


The piece is called Coming Clean and it's in the voice of a youth worker who talks about his own sense of responsibility around sexuality.


If you're a youth worker or some kind of drama geek, I hope the timing and price—to say nothing of the quality of the piece—will strike you as a clear win. If you're not, I'll hope you'll find it an entertaining read. 


It will seem like a win from my side of the transaction if you tell a few youth workers and drama geeks where to find Coming Clean and if they download it and use it to engage kids in a conversation about telling the truth and living together responsibly.


So, read Coming Clean here and then download it free, complete with discussion questions—normally that costs two bucks.


Enjoy! And let me know if you if you like it (or hate it).

WARREN

I want to come clean with you about something tonight. OK? Is that alright with you?

Standing before you is living, breathing, proof that it is possible to grow up in this culture without falling into alcohol and sex — please, hold your applause till the end.

You may find this hard to believe, but I’ve never been drunk. People talk as if that’s inevitable — something they might as well do so they can check it off the list. Well I’m here to tell you it’s not.

And the only person I’ve had sex with is Sarah, my lovely wife. Stand up, honey; let the people greet you. Sure, you can clap for my bride. Isn’t she beautiful? Yeh.

Sex is another experience about which some people say, “Well, I may as well just get it over it over with.” Isn’t that romantic? Trust me: sex is worth the wait...Every time. (Rim shot sound effect) Thank you, thank you very much — I’m here every weekend.

Monologue | Mango Sex

One of the nice things about being The Tiny Company Called Me is I get to make decisions I once upon a time had to negotiate with others when I was part of someone else's overhead. Of course this is also one of the challenges in being The Tiny Company Called Me, but that's another story.

Today I've decided to give away some stuff to my youth worker friends...at least the ones who use comedy, drama, and other kinds of storytelling to engage the people they're trying to help into adulthood.

First up, Mango Sex, a monologue about sexual responsibility. Normally, it costs two bucks, but you can download it free, complete with discussion questions.

If you're not a youth worker or storyteller, you might enjoy this piece anyway. It's mildly humorous and, who knows? maybe you know someone who would like it.

Jules, it should be noted, is a 15 year-old sophomore. Pity the fool who tries to date this girl.

JULES

OK, I don’t wanna get struck by lightning or anything but look: Do you seriously want me to believe God would make something as cool as sex and then tell people to stay away from it? I mean, really?

Because I find that hard to believe. I think that’s like God saying, “Don’t look at the mountains, don’t go in the ocean, don’t eat the apples.”

Oh, wait, I guess that’s the argument isn’t it; That whole apple thing. I don’t know where that comes from. Someone with an inappropriate love for apples I guess.

If I wrote it, it would be “don’t eat the mangoes.” You ever have a fresh ripe mango? I gotta tell you: if sex is better than that, don’t count on seeing much of me once I get started. I mean, please: mango sex? I don’t see why God wouldn’t want that for everyone.