bossing v partnering [part i] | a small idea from Raising Adults

Nobody likes to be around Bossy people. Bosses know everything; which is way too much. Whatever it is, they know how to do it—better than anyone else. They’re impatient with those who do things differently.

Bosses can be a big pain in the behind.

No, give me that towel! You’re not folding it right. This family has folded towels the same way for six generations: in thirds the short way, then in thirds the long way. How could you not know that? 

Note that How could you not know that? is in the form of a question. But there’s nothing sincere about it. Can you see anything in the context of this exchange that would make the kid believe his parent was an Explorer and not just pushy Boss? 

No, don’t turn here, this is the long way! Just pay attention; I’ll show you how to get there. 

The kid thinks: “Why don’t I just let you drive? In fact, let me out; I’ll catch the next bus.”

That’s not the way to load a dishwasher. You can get more in if you ... Oh, just give me the plate.

OK.

Truly: Does anyone really believe this is the path to raising an adult?

Seriously... If you’ve been Bossing, please give it rest. Humankind will thank you. I promise.

— from Raising Adults