Sunday, November 19, 2017


Friday, November 10, 2017

No one is safe when men think + behave this way

A 32-year-old officer of the court is said to have taken a 14-year-old to a cabin, removed his pants, groped her, pressed her hand to his erect penis. Elected official says, “There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here ... Maybe just a little bit unusual” That’s an argument from privilege. 

Transparently stupid but serious as a heart attack — and what right-thinking women and men must reject and correct in government, business, entertainment, sports, law enforcement, military, education, family, and religion.

No one is safe as long as men with power think, behave, and cover for each other this way.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Falling Down a Hole with Donald Trump

Bill Bennett, speaking of Donald Trump at the 2017 Values Voter Summit: "We are conscious of his history. We are conscious of his future. And as Oscar Wilde said, 'Just as every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.’ "

— quoted by Jessica Taylor, NPR, "After 'Choosing Donald Trump,' Is The Evangelical Church In Crisis?” [h/t Stephen Bowlby]

This is Bizzaro World. 

Bill Bennett quoting Oscar Wilde to justify the misbehavior of Donald Trump to a crowd of Evangelicals convened by Tony Perkins…. 

Can you imagine Mr. Bennett mounting a similar defense of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama — or even semi-pro Sunday School teacher, Jimmy Carter? 

[Alice image courtesy of Teufelbeutel CC BY-SA 3.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons]

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

#Ovaries | Standing Up

As we give credit to Republican Senators Bob Corker, Jeff Flake, and John McCain — each of whom, I believe, deserves full credit — let’s first take a moment to credit Republican Senators Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, who already showed they have the ovaries to stand against this president when that’s what it takes to stand up for people of this nation. Thank you all, Senators. May your tribe increase.

Friday, September 22, 2017

The 501(C)(3) of Christ | Hack the Ministry

A friend tells me he is intrigued by Hack the Ministry and the conversations around it. I reply: 
I’m intrigued too. 
With no disrespect to my friends with jobs provided by some instance of the church, I, and a growing number of friends and acquaintances scattered over the earth, are finding greater success connecting with “Nones” now that we think of ourselves as some version of “Dones”.  
It doesn’t take much sociological or spiritual imagination to see that — in many places — the way we’ve been doing church is ending (or at the very least trending) badly and has been for a long time. I saw it when I still took my paycheck from a church. I think most people do; and this is the drive behind some brilliant innovation and passionate outreach and service generated by church leaders. It’s also what drives programs that looked much better on paper than in practice. 
As outreaching and open as I was — you can ask anyone  = - )  — I had to give up my church business card before I began to grasp this. On reflection, this should be no surprise. As Sinclair Lewis used to say, "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it”.  
Years later, when I became available to friends and neighbors on Sunday mornings, I found they became available to me pretty much any time. It’s as if my getting a car and “going to church” was a barrier to entry for engagement with some of the most spiritually open-and-interested people in my community — not to mention some of my most religiously suspicious, damaged, and abused friends and neighbors. The absence any power differential makes every conversation straight across. My surrender of religious authority made way for a sober assessment of spiritual authenticity. The stories I tell about my life, alongside my daily spiritual practices, stand or fall on their own… they ring true, or not… stories and practices reinforce each other, or they don’t. 
Clearly, I’m not alone in this. And without suggesting that anyone should stop going to church, or leave their job in the church, or disavow church; I do mean to be clear that there is a life of engaged Christian practice outside the norms and structures of the 501(C)(3) of Christ. 
All this is wrapped up, for me, in this conversation about hacking the ministry. And I find myself feeling real anticipation about what others bring to the table — to correct, affirm, recalibrate, or help me reimagine what I’ve been thinking and doing.

Wherever you are on the continuum, If you’re intrigued too, I hope you’ll take the day to be with us in Seattle for Hack the Ministry 

— it’s Thursday, October 12, 2017 

— we’ll gather from 10 am to 10 pm at Ballard Homestead 

tickets are $49 — or you can bring two friends, at a total cost of $99 for the three of you — lunch and dinner are included

— out-of-towners seem to be leaning toward Hampton Inn and Suites, Northgate

Selective Outrage | Selective Grace

I keep wondering what churches would be like if they were as gracious - and patient - with everyone as they are with the greedy.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Peers | Mentors | Sages | Hacking the Ministry

Peers, Mentors + Sages — both inside + outside the orbit of organized churchgoing — people who have decided not to fear each other + not to hold each other in contempt, are gathering for a deep conversation about pioneers + mapmakers who are showing us how to hack the ministry to serve the world as it is + as it is becoming. | October 12 | Seattle | 10am - 10pm

Monday, September 11, 2017

Hack the Ministry | 10.12.17 | Seattle

A one-day gathering for people who identify with Jesus + aren’t so sure about the future of churchgoing.

Monday, September 04, 2017

Dear Mr. President | The message Barack Obama left in the Oval Office for Donald Trump

There’s a tradition of outgoing US presidents leaving handwritten notes to their successors on Inauguration Day. CNN obtained a copy of the letter from Barack Obama to Donald Trump — one imagines a mobile phone pic — from someone to whom Mr. Trump showed it. It is, I think, quite remarkable, compared with notes left by George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush.

Dear Mr. President - 
Congratulations on a remarkable run. Millions have placed their hopes in you, and allof us, regardless of party, should hope for expanded prosperity and security during your tenure.
This is a unique office, without a clear blueprint for success, so I don't know that any advice from me will be particularly helpful. Still, let me offer a few reflections from the past 8 years.
First, we've both been blessed, in different ways, with great good fortune. Not everyone is so lucky. It's up to us to do everything we can (to) build more ladders of success for every child and family that's willing to work hard.
Second, American leadership in this world really is indispensable. It's up to us, through action and example, to sustain the international order that's expanded steadily since the end of the Cold War, and upon which our own wealth and safety depend.
Third, we are just temporary occupants of this office. That makes us guardians of those democratic institutions and traditions -- like rule of law, separation of powers, equal protection and civil liberties -- that our forebears fought and bled for. Regardless of the push and pull of daily politics, it's up to us to leave those instruments of our democracy at least as strong as we found them.
And finally, take time, in the rush of events and responsibilities, for friends and family. They'll get you through the inevitable rough patches.
Michelle and I wish you and Melania the very best as you embark on this great adventure, and know that we stand ready to help in any ways which we can.
Good luck and Godspeed,

Thursday, August 31, 2017

What he said — Jesus + The Nashville Statement

Father James Martin — Jesuit priest, editor at large for America Magazine, author of Jesus: A Pilgrimage and Building a Bridge,  consultor to the Vatican Secretariat for Communication​, and former chaplain to the Colbert Nation — responded to The Nashville Statement - so-called because it was ratified in the city

The Nashville Statement centers on 14 affirmations and denials; Martin repeated the pattern in a series of seven tweets, recreated here.

James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
Re #NashvilleStatement: 
I affirm: That God loves all LGBT people. 
I deny: That Jesus wants us to insult, judge or further marginalize them.
James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
I affirm: That all of us are in need of conversion. 
I deny: That LGBT people should be in any way singled out as the chief or only sinners
James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
I affirm: That when Jesus encountered people on the margins he led with welcome not condemnation. 
I deny: That Jesus wants any more judging.
James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
I affirm: That LGBT people are, by virtue of baptism, full members of the church. 
I deny: That God wants them to feel that they don't belong
James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
I affirm: That LGBT people have been made to feel like dirt by many churches. 
I deny: That Jesus wants us to add to their immense suffering.
James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
I affirm: That LGBT people are some of the holiest people I know. 
I deny: That Jesus wants us to judge others, when he clealrly forbade it.
James Martin SJ @JamesMartinSJ  Aug 30 
I affirm that the Father loves LGBT people, the Son calls them and the Holy Spirit guides them. 
I deny nothing about God's love for them.
What he said. 

Friday, August 25, 2017

I got your respect right here…. Raising Adults

[This week, Verlyn Giles, an extraordinary coach and human being, was inducted into the Leon High School Football Hall of Fame in Tallahassee Florida. Here’s what I wrote in Raising Adults about how Verlyn and a few other remarkable adults shaped my life back in the day.]
When I was a boy, my uncle, Bryant Kendall, my coach, Verlyn Giles, my high school principal, Robert Stevens, a youth worker named Shuford Davis, a campus worker named Bob Norwood, and more teachers than I can count. They listened to me and took my ideas seriously. They asked good questions. They talked straight. They gave me training and responsibility. My uncle helped me learn to mow lawns before my parents allowed me to touch anything with a motor at home. I had teachers who encouraged me to think outside the box and helped me learn to sort my thoughts and express them directly and economically. Verlyn Giles helped me learn to think and communicate under pressure and taught me to value ingenuity and skill over brute force. Bob Norwood asked questions that encouraged me choose between good and better. Shuford Davis engaged with me even though I was not part of his youth group, asking questions that caused me to address spirituality with my mind as well as my heart.
    Respect isn’t empty-headed acceptance of any and all behavior. Respect grows from the acknowledgment that all of us are in process. We’ve learnedeverything we know so far, and we have quite a bit more to learn before we’re done.
    Respect acknowledges that what’s obvious to one person may not be a bit obvious to someone else. And that’s a very good place to begin the conversation.

And isn’t that what life is all about, the ability to go around back and come up inside other people’s heads to look out at the damned fool miracle and say: oh so that’s how you see it!? Well, now, I must remember that.

—Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine, William Morrow, 2001, page xiii

    Shaming is a monologue. Respect is a dialogue. The surest way for me to show respect is to ask honest questions and listen carefully until, whether or not we agree, the other person is pretty sure I truly understand.

— from Raising Adults by Jim Hancock

Thursday, August 24, 2017

The Growth of US Hate Groups from 2000 to 2017

A two-minute overview of the growth of hate groups in the US from from 2000 to mid-2017, courtesy of the Southern Poverty Law Center and The Atlantic.

The Atlantic writes:

According to research by the Southern Poverty Law Center, the number of hate groups has been increasing rapidly since 2000. Heidi Beirich, director of the Center’s Intelligence Project, links the rise in recruitment to the 2000 census that predicted whites would be a minority by 2042. Beirich says there’s been another spike following the election of Donald Trump, particularly among alt-right organizations who have attached themselves directly to the current president. In an interview filmed at the 2017 Aspen Ideas Festival, Beirich says that Trump’s limited commentary on hate crimes shows his lack of concern.

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Silence in the Kitchen | a fragment from Raising Adults

Kids have an amazing capacity to learn new tricks. They don’t allow themselves to get very cold or hungry or lost more than once without pretty good reasons.

    One very good reason, of course, is to get under the skin of a parent who is a hijacker.

    When, on frosty mornings, I see kids on their way to school without their jackets, I imagine the sort of conversations that occurred on their way out the door. For example….

Interior. Morning. Kitchen. An eleven year old boy runs a piece of bread around the rim of a jelly jar and chews thoughtfully, having decided toast is too much trouble.  
From another room we hear an adult voice: Are you wearing your jacket? 
There is silence in the kitchen. The adult speaks louder: Are you WEARING your JACKET! 
The boy speaks, his mouth full of bread: Snot Cold! 
Adult: What? I said, are you wearing your jacket? 
Silence in the kitchen. After a moment the adult hollers: ANSWER ME! 
The boy glances up at the clock. Indeed, he is not cold at this moment. He is, however, tired of being yelled at from another room—though he is not about to venture from the relative safety of the kitchen, at least not voluntarily, to find out what the hollering is about. In an instant the boy decides he will placate the one in the other room but, for reasons he hardly understands, he will not satisfy her. His voice rises with the patronizing tone he will use again some fifty years in the future to explain to his mother why she must eat her strained vegetables: Mom, it’s too hot to wear my jacket in here. Don’t worry about it.
With that, the boy dips his finger in the jelly, rubs it on another piece of bread which he folds neatly in half, walks past his jacket and out the door into the cold, clear day of his youth.



Monday, July 17, 2017

Miracles | (Someone Special)

This is who we are.

Cause + Effect | I learned it from you! OK?

The line between actions and consequences is severely blurred for a lot of kids because, by and large, they don’t understand the general principle of cause and effect.

    They don’t understand cause and effect because the adults in their lives constantly come behind them to fix things when they screw up.

    This problem is complicated by idle threats and equally idle promises.

    An example: The promise, If you’ll be good boy (whatever that means) at the store, I’ll buy you a treat, is easily lost in the excuse: It’s too close to dinner; you’ll spoil your appetite.

    Not fair! Sure, we have to be concerned for a kid’s nutritional well-being. So we’d better take care to not make idle promises in exchange for compliant behavior.

    All right, that’s it! One more word out of you and we’re going straight home!

    Really? You’re going to load everybody back onto the bus and go straight home? I’m not saying you shouldn’t do exactly that if it fits the situation. But please don’t threaten to do it if you know you can’t live with the consequences of following through.

    If I say: Stop nagging! You kids are killing me! I should have the decency to die the next time one of them nags. Otherwise, it’s just an idle promise.

    More to the point, our children falter in learning the connection between cause and effect when, not wanting them to experience pain, many of us are quick to rescue them from the consequences of their failures and wrongdoing.

    When they’re young we easily replace a toy carelessly lost or broken in anger and shield them from the cost of their actions. Time passes and we drop what we’re doing to deliver an item thoughtlessly left behind so a middle-schooler won’t suffer a loss of face or miss a meal or fail to turn in a paper on time. Still later, we cover a negligently overdrawn checking account or pay a traffic ticket and insurance increase resulting from a moving violation, or hire a lawyer to rescue our beloved failure from a ruined life.

    And they resent us for it. Maybe not in the moment, but soon and forever until we make things right.

— from Raising Adults by Jim Hancock




Sunday, July 16, 2017

in-betweenness | this is who we are

Not fully child, not fully adult....
Adolescents can [glimpse their in-betweenness] by looking in the full-length mirror on back of the bathroom door. The opaque glance and the pimples. The fancy new nakedness they're all dressed up in with no place to go. The eyes full of secrets they have a strong hunch everybody is on to. The shadowed brow. Being not quite a child and not quite a grown-up either is hard work, and they look it. Living in two worlds at once is no picnic.  One of the worlds, of course, is innocence, self-forgetfulness, openness, playing for fun. The other is experience, self-consciousness, guardedness, playing for keeps. Some of us go on straddling them both for years.
We become fully and undividedly human, I suppose, when we discover that the ultimate prudence is a kind of holy recklessness, and our passion for having finds peace in our passion for giving, and playing for keeps is itself the greatest fun. Once this has happened and our adolescence is behind us at last, the delight of the child and the sagacity of the Supreme Court justice are largely indistinguishable. 
– Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark,  p. 2

Wednesday, July 05, 2017

For His Own Good | Hijacking

Hijacking begins with the conviction that I know you better than you know yourself. I feel certain nothing could make you happier than thinking I believe that.
    This is what an awful lot of adults (and not just a lot of awful adults) regularly do to the kids in their lives. Come to think of it, adults do it to each other all the time and I don’t know anyone—adult or child—who enjoys it even a little bit.
    Hijackers assume kids will end up in the wrong place, or at least try to get there a different way than the adult would—which of course makes it the wrong way. No matter how mature the youngster actually may be, she will feel childish at the hands of the Hijacker.
    “Do you have your lunch money?” is an insult on the lips of a Hijacker because it means I’m pretty sure that left to your own devices you’d starve. Remember that time you forgot your lunch money? You were hungry weren’t you? I wouldn’t want to let you make that mistake again. There’s very little chance the child will be hungry at the end of this exchange as she’s probably had about all she can stomach.
    Most adults mean no harm when they Hijack. The goal after all is to head off undesirable consequences. But Hijackers do considerable harm to their relationships and the self-esteem of those they care for. The underlying message of Hijacking is:
You’re helpless without me. You need me for the most trivial matters. I’m saying this for your own good. You’d lose your mind if I didn’t hand it to you on the way out the door every morning. Never forget that. And, honey, have a good day. 
    Hijacking fosters dependence instead of encouraging intelligent independence. Right through adolescence, Hijacker insists on looking after details like what to wear, what to eat, how to study, when to sleep and wake, how specifically to get from point A to point B. Then, should the child makes the mistake of relinquishing control in any of these areas Hijackers blame them for not looking after the little things any fool can accomplish in his sleep. It’s a dirty business, Hijacking. 
    You don’t understand! It’s for his own good!
    Blah, blah, blah.
    No, really; he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached!
    Not more than once.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Canary in a Coal Mine | Young, Hoping + Coping

     Children are often the first to succumb to toxic cultural conditions. Look around, it’s not hard to see that for some, the song is over before it’s barely begun.
    In this connection, much has been made of adolescent suicide, as should be. Confirmed reporting of data on causes of death lags well behind real time. We know that, in 2014:

425 10-14-year-olds died by suicide
1,837 15-19-year-olds died by suicide
3,253 20-24-year-olds died by suicide

Including 20-24-year-olds is an artifact of the first wave of reporting in which, other than 10-14-year-olds, the numbers are often released in 10-year groupings—15-24-year-olds, 25-34-year-olds, and so on. A lot of us are accustomed to thinking of teen suicide differently than young adult suicide, much as we’re accustomed to think differently about 24-year-olds and 15-year-olds giving birth. But maybe it’s useful to consider the lives of people in the five years after their teens. Most of us don't think typical 24-year-olds have much in common with typical 15-year-olds, but many 24-year-olds are still within reach of help from people they knew and trusted when they were 15 (as well as people they might have trusted at 15, had they known them).
    In any event, in 2014, the rate of suicides spiked from about nine per 100,000 15-19-year-olds to about 14 per 100,000 20-24-year-olds. That spike is typical of recent years. For people endeavoring to raise adults, this is sad news.
    The vulnerability of American children and adolescents is measured in more ways than suicide. For example, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention conducts longterm Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance that does more or less what it sounds like: The YRBS studies risky behavior in America’s student population. These indicators suggest that, in general, things are not as good as we wish, and not bad as we fear.
    Here’s a sampling from the High School Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance 2015 Results:

    If you’ve been told things are getting worse all the time, the data show that is not true. Much of the conduct measured in the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance is trending less risky compared to the peak between 1991 and 2015. Any-is-too-many, yes…but let’s give credit where credit is due. In many ways, the current crop of high schoolers are doing better than, or about as well as, the generation before them at the same age.
    Having said that, we return to the any-is-too-many theme. Kids in trouble are in as much trouble as kids in trouble ever were. Their families suffer the same sort of distress all distressed families always suffer.
    When teenagers take risks in reaction to real life stress—self-medicating against pain, for instance, or non-suicidal self harm to deflect pain—they are trying to do what people have always tried to do. They are trying to cope.


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Shots Fired or the Silence of the Lambs

Imagine a shooting in a crowded place where no one hears the gun fire...where one person after another falls wounded or dead because the firearm is all but silent.

Here are the Members of Congress who intend to rip this scenario from your imagination to play out in your local dance club, the lobby of your airport or church, along the margins of your local ball-field, in a grade school classroom, and then another, maybe a third before anyone notices ("I wonder why those children are screaming.... Oh, well, now it stopped").

These Members of Congress are the sponsors of the Hearing Protection Act of 2017, ISYN—because the worst thing about shootings is the noise, right?

1st Session
H. R. 367

To provide that silencers be treated the same as long guns.

January 9, 2017

        Mr. Duncan of South Carolina (for himself, Mr. Carter of Texas, Mr. Gene Green of Texas, Mr. Austin Scott of Georgia, Mr. Biggs, Mr. Gosar, Mr. Hudson, Mr. LaMalfa, Mr. Harris, Mr. Westerman, Mr. Olson, Mr. Chaffetz, Mr. Hensarling, Mr. Carter of Georgia, Mr. Labrador, Mr. Brooks of Alabama, Mr. Smith of Texas, Mr. Bishop of Utah, Mr. Brat, Mr. Abraham, Mr. Palmer, Mrs. Love, Mr. Bridenstine, Mr. Stewart, Mr. Marshall, Mr. Emmer, Mr. Ratcliffe, Mr. Jody B. Hice of Georgia, Mr. Buck, Mr. Weber of Texas, Mr. Messer, Mr. Mooney of West Virginia, Mr. DeSantis, Mr. Newhouse, Mr. Smith of Missouri, Mr. Graves of Georgia, Mr. Lamborn, Mr. Wenstrup, Mr. Rogers of Alabama, Mr. DesJarlais, Mr. Massie, Mr. King of Iowa, Mr. Gohmert, and Mr. Yoder) introduced the following bill; which was referred to the Committee on Ways and Means, and in addition to the Committee on the Judiciary, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concerned

To provide that silencers be treated the same as long guns.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.This Act may be cited as the “Hearing Protection Act of 2017”.
SEC. 2. EQUAL TREATMENT OF SILENCERS AND FIREARMS.(a) In General.—Section 5845(a) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 is amended by striking “(7) any silencer” and all that follows through “; and (8)” and inserting “; and (7)”.
(b) Effective Date.—
(1) IN GENERAL.—Except as otherwise provided in this subsection, the amendment made by this section shall take effect on the date of the enactment of this Act.
(2) TRANSFERS.—In the case of the tax imposed by section 5811 of such Code, the amendment made by this section shall apply with respect to transfers after October 22, 2015.
SEC. 3. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN SILENCERS.Section 5841 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 is amended by adding at the end the following:
“(f) Firearm Silencers.—A person acquiring or possessing a firearm silencer in accordance with Chapter 44 of title 18, United States Code, shall be treated as meeting any registration and licensing requirements of the National Firearms Act (as in effect on the day before the date of the enactment of this subsection) with respect to such silencer.”.
SEC. 4. PREEMPTION OF CERTAIN STATE LAWS IN RELATION TO FIREARM SILENCERS.Section 927 of title 18, United States Code, is amended by adding at the end the following: “Notwithstanding the preceding sentence, a law of a State or a political subdivision of a State that, as a condition of lawfully making, transferring, using, possessing, or transporting a firearm silencer in or affecting interstate or foreign commerce, imposes a tax on any such conduct, or a marking, recordkeeping or registration requirement with respect to the firearm silencer, shall have no force or effect.”. 
If it becomes law, the Hearing Protection Act of 2017 will make it illegal for any state or local jurisdiction to regulate or record the manufacture, transport, sale, possession, or use of silencers. 

So much for states rights, right?

Who, exactly, does this serve?

Look again at the list of sponsors. See anyone whose name you recognize? Anything you'd like to tell them? [h/t Dana Milbank]

Monday, June 12, 2017

Did She Jump? | Learning to ask a different question

For a long time, when hurting, at-risk kids and parents came to me for help, I wanted to know—the judge in me wanted to know—Did she jump or was she pushed? Things like that matter to the judge. How else can he assign blame? But over time, broken and battered myself, compassion posed a new question. Compassion asks: Does it matter how it happened? She’s broken. What now?
Here is my hope for all of us—you, me, our children, our children’s children: Acknowledging that things are seldom as they should be, I hope we’ll be able to look at things as they are and ask, What Now?
from Raising Adults by Jim Hancock

Monday, June 05, 2017

Anything + Everything | Who is my neighbor?

I've been thinking a lot about folks who say, "We will do anything to get others into heaven," while doing everything to keep them out of the country.

Perhaps this is one of those domains in which it is hard to be a Christian. I hesitate to put words in the mouth of G.K. Chesterton—even his own words—but I keep recalling his line: "The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried." [1]

Mr. Chesterton's difficult Christian ideal included, in 1910, religious practitioners who didn't manage to live up to the promise, in part because, he wrote, "the princes conquered the saints." And then: 
....My point is that the world did not tire of the church’s ideal, but of its reality. Monasteries were impugned not for the chastity of monks, but for the unchastity of monks. Christianity was unpopular not because of the humility, but of the arrogance of Christians. [2]
In a similar way, church is the last place some of my friends would look for a Christian—but, then, they're not at all clear where, or when, or why, they would look for a Christian. They're glad, as far as it goes, if they hear that a church hosts a feeding program, or gets involved in flood relief, or whatever. But they think of such gestures as table stakes for an operation that benefits from local infrastructure without sharing the tax burden. As long as nothing goes terribly wrong at a local church, they're content to keep their distance and be left well enough alone. Beyond hearsay, these friends are not particularly clear about who constitutes the membership of these churches, or what draws and binds the members together. 

As long as we're in the way back machine, I'll call up an address to Christians from M.K. Gandhi, quoted in 1930 by his good friend, Charlie Andrews:
When I began as a prayerful student to study Christian literature in South Africa in 1893, I asked myself again and again, 'Is this Christianity?' And I could only say, 'No, no. Certainly this that I see is not Christianity.' And the deepest in me tells me that I was right; for it was unworthy of Jesus and untrue to the Sermon on the Mount.....In spite of your belief in the greatness of Western civilization, and in spite of your pride in all your achievements, I plead with you to exercise humility. I ask you to leave some little room for honest doubt. Let us simply each one live our life; and if ours is the right life, where is the cause for hurry? It will react of itself. By all means drink deep of the fountains that are given to you in the Sermon on the Mount; but then you will have to take up sackcloth and ashes also with regard to failure to perform that which is taught in Christ's Sermon. For the teaching of the Sermon was meant for each and every one of us. You cannot serve both God and Mammon.... [3]
I think it's difficult to refute Mr. Gandhi on this point. I think we are — all of us who propose to know anything about Jesus — responsible to answer a question from Jesus recorded by Luke:
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
There's the question: "What is written in the Law? How do you read it?" This, apparently, is something Jesus wants to know.
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” 
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”  
In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two [days wages] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’  
“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”  
The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”  
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” [4]
It seems to me that everyone who asks, "What is required of me?" faces the question in return, "What is written in the Law? How do you read it?" Apparently, our answer to that question makes a difference.

[1] G.K. Chesterton, What's Wrong with the World, Part I, chapter five, Dodd and Mead, 1910, p 48

[2] ibid, pp 46-47

[3] C. F. Andrews, Mahatma Gandhi's Ideas: Including Selections from His Writings,  Macmillan, 1930, pp 94-95

[4] Luke 10:25-37, The Bible, New International Version