Friday, September 20, 2013

exploring [part ii] | a small idea from Raising Adults

Learning to  Explore with your child delivers immediate bonuses:
First, asking good questions and listening carefully to the answers will help you discover the weak spots in your child’s skill set. When you know what needs attention, it’s not terribly difficult to figure out what to do next.
Second, when you take your youngster seriously enough to ask questions you can’t already answer, you’re preparing him to let you in on a whole lot of other, deeper stuff. Pair this skill with the development of a sophisticated emotional vocabulary and you’ve got the raw material for a deep, sustainable relationship with your child. More on that Emotional Vocabulary later.
Third, if you Explore instead of Hijack, your child won’t automatically expect that all adults are out to make her look stupid. Maybe she’ll give other adults a chance to demonstrate their real intentions and not assume the worst. Of course, she’ll find the worst is true of some adults—in which case the contrast between how you treat her and how those other jerks treat her will make you look really, really good.

— from Raising Adults

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